Monday 2 November 2009

A NIGHT IN SUMMER LONG AGO

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Current mood: nostalgic

I'm sitting here in my pj's, eating a Bagel and contemplating the events of the past few days. Even at the height of my fame I never got into such scrapes as these.

Although there was that one time that Carl Wark (Lewis Kendall from Baxter Investigates...) and I went to that convention in 1982. This was just before we began recording the final series, and obviously before Carl had that terrible accident. And I still say it was an accident. I had nothing, absolutely nothing to do with it!

Anyway...

This convention, Baxtercon '82, was being held at the Crystal Peak Church of the Former Lost Souls of Solitude, a really strange place, full of stranger people.Carl and I arrived on stage to mild indifference. "Who are you!?" someone cried out. The compere stepped forward, "This is Carl Wark and Charles Wynford Lodge".
"The actor." I added.
For a moment there was stunned silence as fans turned to one another with looks of incredulity. Then suddenly rapturous applause erupted from the crowd.

An audience member put his hand up, "Baxter..."
"The name is Charles Wynford Lodge... the actor." I pointed out.
"Baxter," he continued, "when you arrested that guy did it make you feel good?"

From that point on I knew Carl and I were in for a day of mind-numbing tedium. To be honest I don't remember much more from then on. I think my brain automatically switched off as some sort of safety mechanism.

But later that evening at the hotel I was just putting my key in the door to my room when I felt somebody pinch my backside. I spun round and there was Lewis Kendall! "Carl? Is that you? What in the name of Sweet Potatoes are you doing?" I queried.
"I'm Poppy. I'm a big fan of yours", replied this little voice. It was a fan dressed up as Kendall. "Thank heaven's. For a minute I thought Carl had gone fruity" I said.
Poppy leant in and whispered in my ear, "I like to dress up as Kendall at its my fantasy to make love to Baxter."

What was I supposed to do? I know, you're gonna think I was stupid for doing it, but I directed her down the hallway to a room of another fan who had come to the convention dressed as Baxter.

Well I was a married man, and besides I don't think I ever would have got over making love to Kendall. How would I have ever looked Carl in the face (or anywhere else for that matter) again!?

Currently listening : Golden Heart by Mark Knopfler. Release date: By 26 March, 1996
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