BLOG OFF!

These are blogs I originally posted on my MySpace page but I thought to reach a wider audience I'd be better posting them again as an actual genuine blog in its own right. I'll include all original comments added by those who followed the blogs. If you're lucky NEW blogs may follow!

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

My first time Current mood: hot

When my agent, Dick Muldul, asked me if I had done a blog, I assumed he was accusing me of leaving something behind in his rest-room last time I went over for dinner. Turns out a 'blog' is where people post news about themselves, or share their thoughts.

How boring I thought, but hey if everybody else is doing it, why not me!? So here it is the world's first Charles Wynford Lodge (The Actor) 'BLOG'.

THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME RECENTLY

I woke up this morning and got partially dressed. I don't have to be anywhere today, and its so hot I thought I'd just wear my shorts.

I keep the curtains closed because I don't want my photo ending up printed in some ragazine alongside a picture of Britney Spears driving with her baby street-skiing behind the car, or Michael Jackson dangling a chimp from the top of a Ferris Wheel or something.

Just after breakfast (Hard boiled eggs and nuts) I got a call from Dick and he asked me if I had heard about the up-coming movie adaptation of Space Sentinel 4. I hadn't. Seems they've wheeled Chip Chesters out for a cameo but someone neglected to get in touch with me.

Dick called back a few minutes later and explained that the film company thought I was dead. Don't they watch TV? I'm on cable channels all the time. Although they are re-runs so I guess it is conceivable that I could have passed away. Dick then said it was too late for me to appear in the film version in any major role but they could shoe-horn a cameo for me, as a hologram or something. Sounds like a raw deal but hey if it pays!

Dick called back a third time and said they couldn't afford to pay me anything and would I do it out of the goodness of my heart and loyalty to the show? I said to Dick, "Dick, how the hell are you going to get 10% of that!?" So he told them to go screw themselves.

I have been toying with the idea of writing my autobiography but when I mentioned this to my next-door neighbor Ms. Thorndyke (an elderly spinster), she said, "An autobiography? Who of?"

"Well, Charles Wynford Lodge, obviously." I explained.

She stared at me for second, a confused look on her face, "Charles Wynford Lodge... the actor?"

I smiled, "Of course."

"Isn't he dead?" she replied.

This was a step up from the time I mentioned it to the girl in the grocery store. She didn't have a damn clue. "Charles Who?" she said.

Stupid kid.

What’s the world coming to when the youth of today aren't glued to the TV set? I suppose after 50 or so years the novelty has kinda worn off. I told her I'd bring in a tape for her to watch and she called the Manager, making all kinds of wild accusations that I was making suggestive comments! Sheesh!

I had to explain the whole thing to the Manager. Turns out he's a huge fan of Baxter Investigates... I had to promise to go over to his house one evening and provide 'live' audio commentaries to his favorite episodes. As long as its not the one where Baxter had to go undercover as a prostitute. We filmed on location, and the number of times I was propositioned... Mainly by the crew!

Nice to know I'm still appreciated though.

Currently listening : Into the Great Wide Open. By Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers. Release date: By 02 July, 1991
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